I know this is long over due...
To start with, just a moment with those you who have
mentioned that you want to run your first marathon. After I had finished the marathon, took
pictures, went back to the hotel, showered and I was in the car on the way back
to Ohio, I kept saying,
“Who ever said this was a good idea ?”
It’s hard to describe just how bad I felt physically and
mentally. What you don’t hear is that
you actually begin to feel worse 24 hours after your race. You can google and read what you put your body
through in running 26.2 miles. (I know
all runners are agreeing with me right now.) A few people started going into
the tearing of your muscles and lactic acid speech, but over all, I just felt
really bad.
The day before my race on Saturday May 5th, a few
of my sister’s friends ran the Indianapolis half marathon and reported how hard
it was to run in the heat. The warning
coming in was basically, “it was brutal.”
I did start to get nervous.
I do not believe I slept at all the night before. I got up easily on Sunday morning and made a
decision that I was going to do one thing at a time.
- Eat
- Gear check
- Drive to the starting line
- Queue up for the bathroom
- Find Kathryn and my pace group
- Wait for the start of the race
- See how it goes
My family drove me downtown and we began to see runners
walking in one direction. At a certain
point I just jumped out of the car and stood on the sidewalk as my family
cheered me on and waved goodbye.
Recap: My
family - sister Patty, Mom my niece Emily and sister Pam
I turned a corner and walked by a Steelers/Penguin/Pirate
store and smiled. I actually took a
minute to look in. I enjoyed walking to
the starting gates, being a tourist I took my time. I knew there would be long lines for the
bathroom so I looked for my pace group so I knew where I wanted to end up and
queued up at the porta potties.
That, is one of the smartest thing I did. When I ran my Columbus Marathon, I had to go
to the bathroom from the start and had to break away from Patty and Donna to
stop and ran the rest of the 10 miles alone.
I jumped in a line and talked to people around me. I found my pace group right around the start
of the race. I didn’t want to lose my pace group.
Kathyrn "the Pacer"
They had the opening ceremony for the race, and we all
cheered and waited for the 19,000 runners to start moving. There were many spectators downtown to cheer
us on and it was exciting running the first miles. It was so crowed, it was a slow jog, but we
knew it would start clearing up in the upcoming miles. I kept looking for my family and finally
running over the Andy Warhol Bridge, I saw Emily first.
She was yelling “Aunt Stephie,” and was waving her hands up
in the air.
I ran over to the left side where they were and I couldn’t
really reach them for a hug, but was able to say a quick Hi! And ran on, I was
nervous I would lose my pace group. I
was really happy to see them.
Stop for a quick hello on the bridge !!
At this point, it was probably around 8:30am, and I already
felt the heat. I was “worried” that I
would not be able to keep up with my pace group. I talked to one of the other girls and told
her I was hot. She mentioned she was
struggling also, but I kept with them. I
looked over my left shoulder and saw “Heinz Field” and did a fist pump and said
to myself “Go Steelers.” It gave me energy to keep going.
Our pace leader was helpful and gave tips as we would
incline and decline and started talking about the heat – to hydrate and hydrate
often. I had to think about my run. I stayed with them through the first ten
miles, but I knew I was in trouble. I
just couldn’t find my rhythm and never really settled into my groove for long.
I had times of ease and pleasure, but they were short lived
and around the 11th mile I just couldn’t keep running and fell
back. I watched as my pace group run
ahead. I had one false start thinking I
could stay behind them, but watched as they disappeared in the crowd.
It was a hard minute – I felt like my race just slipped
through my fingers. If I am honest, I was crushed, and was looking down the
last fourteen miles – completely alone.
Patty had said she would be on the hill, so when I got to
Birmingham Bridge at mile 12, I knew I might see my family. I started talking to one of the runners
Tracy, who was a member of a rely group and just started running at mile seven,
she smiled and told me “my group stuck me with the hill and a difficult part of
the course, so walking is okay.”
She also looked over the left side of the bridge; the full
marathoners were on the east side of the bridge and the half marathoners on the
west side and mentioned that “even the half marathoners were walking.”
We came across this bridge and under this hot, dirty cove
stood my beautiful family. They were so
excited to see me, I was shocked, because it was a not a real safe place for
them to be waiting.
“What are you doing here,” I asked my sister Patty?
“I told you I would get you up that hill.”
And we started walking up that hill.
I made sure to hug everyone and then just went into it. I started crying, I was not taking this
disappointment and the run well. “I am
so hot, I can’t finish, I can’t go another 14 miles. I lost my pace group, I
can’t do this”
I really don’t remember what anyone said, I was also worried
about my mom in the heat, of course but she was worried about me. We were
walking up that hill and I kept looking behind at Mom and Pam behind me.
My friend Beri in New York had wanted someone to text her
regarding the race and how I was doing, so I had hooked her up with my niece
Emily (who is a professional texter). I
turned to Emily and said “Emily, text Beri, tell her I am crying and want to
quit. Tell her to start praying for
me. AND HAVE HER CALL NANO !”
Walking up the hill, Emily texting Beri
This is the point that makes me laugh; our friend Nancy
(Nano) is really one of the most powerful prayers that I have ever met. She will pray for you consistently and
often. In saying call Nancy, it’s like
calling in the big guns; it also meant I was in trouble.
“Patty, give me my phone, so when I quit, I can call you to
come pick me up.” I was afraid of
quitting up in the Northeast side of the course, and not being able to get back
down town. I was certain that I wouldn’t
make 14 more miles.
“You are not going to quit, now get up that hill and get
going,” Patty lovingly said.
With that I started jogging away.
The gang at the top of the hill
I spent the next three miles in my mind on how I was going
to quit, struggling to keep going, walking a great deal and the tears would
come and go. I saw people around me that
looked like they were in great shape walking/running/walking/running/ just like
I was.
I had a moment of thinking about what it would feel like to
just stop and walk off the course. I couldn’t believe my family had come to
Pittsburgh to see me quit and all those months of training, eating and saying
no to dinners and invitations to go home and coming to bed. I thought about the ride home, after I quit
and my friends asking me about the race.
I was really at a low point and not completely sure why I kept going.
Now when I talked to Beri about this, she said, she was at
the gym on a stair climber sweating when she got the text and immediately
started praying. She said, she then
texted Nancy and she also started praying - so when I say, I am not sure why I
kept going. I should say, on race day, I
wasn’t sure why I kept going. Today, I
have a small idea. (thank you Beri and Nancy for the prayers)
And I hit the 15-mile flag – I realized two things, the
first was that there was a red weather flag.
Weather
Flags:
Green:
great conditions
Yellow:
Cautionary conditions
Red: Slow
down do not go for personal records
Black: All
runner stop – the race is not being completed that day
Around that time I ran by (or probably walked by) a church,
I ran up to the people lined-up cheering and said, “I’m a Christian and I need prayer.”
A kind man called me sister, “What do you need sister.”
It was hard to get the words out, and I stuttered a bit, but
I looked at him with tears in my eyes, “I feel like I can’t make it.”
He laid his hands on my arm and shoulder and prayed:
“Jesus, we thank you for this day,
we thank you for the sacrifices you made for us. We love you and ask You to be with this women
as she completes the challenge you put on her heart. Let her finish, dear Lord. Give her courage to complete the task she has
set forth in her life. Let her finish her
race with love in her heart. Be with her
ever step of the way.”
I thanked him as the final tears welled up in my eyes and he
said, “now go get em.”
There was a clock on the building that said 10:52am. I knew my C3 family in New York were
entering into the New York Times Center and would be praising God in eight
minutes. I turned on my music again and
found my favorite of all favorite praise songs and just started singing out
loud this song. I didn’t care if I was
off key, I didn’t care what anyone thought, I just sang.
Holy Holy Holy,
Is the lord God
almighty,
Who was and Is and
Is to come
With all creation
I sing,
Praise to the king
of kings
You are my
everything
And I will adore you
This is where the second, and probably more important
awareness came to me.
I made the decision,
but want to say it was more of knowing,
that no matter how I
would finish, I was going to do just that, finish.
AND….
AND….
AND…
And, not only finish, but enjoy the rest of the race.
I started talking to people along the way, stopped to get my
back cracked, people put lawn sprinklers out on the street so runners could run
through the water and cool off, firemen opened their water hydrates and random
people giving out oranges. There was a
group of cheerleaders with those massive water guns and I ran up to them and I
was like,
“I love cheerleaders, oh I like your pom poms, can I hold
them as you spray me!”
they laughed, I laughed, and of course, let me hold their
pom poms.
Along the way were Army soldiers and I went up to every one
of them and salute or fist bump and said “thank you, you’re the real hero’s out
here today.” It was funny to watch their
response, some would just say,
“thank you,” or something like that and some would say, “no
you’re my hero.”
I would say be to them, “no you’re my hero” That was a
special part of the race.
I also start praying for all my family. I would picture their face and pray. Pam,
Mom, Dad, Patty, Greg, Jymie, Brent, Emily, Jessica, Billy, Susan and the
kids. My Uncle and Aunts. I then prayed for my friends, Jen, Beri,
Nano, Kristen, Lisa, Kelly, Jennifer, Lisa Amanda, Anthony my friends from
work, Dean, Redjeb, Tanya, Collins, Christina, Cynthia, Vanessa. My Pittsburgh friends, my friends from church
– my facebook friends, I would picture your face and pray for you, that was
mile 15-21ish.
I wish I could say, I ran the rest of the race easily and
finished strong, but that’s not my story. I walked a lot more than I want to
admit. I was able to have fun and talk
to people, but there were also very isolated points of the race with no shade
or breeze for relief from the streaming sun.
I had made a decision to start walking the inclines and
running the flat and downhill parts of the course, I also noticed that most of
the other runners were doing the same thing.
Someone where in the next few miles I saw the first of two
ambulances, it made its way slowly up the left side, I saw it stop about 5
bocks in front of me. I just kept
thinking, “I don’t want to see this; I don’t want to see this.”
And to my relief, when I was about a block away, the lights
and siren started it took a quick left and drove off. It was reported sixty people were taken to
area hospitals that day.
My dad sent me a copy of the Pittsburgh Tribune, where the
headline was: To Hot to Trot: Summer like temps increase medical care needed
at marathon.
My sister Patty was the real runner of the family as I have
mentioned, and (sorry Patty) doesn’t like to talk about it, but physically can
no longer run long distances. She may
have a hip replacement so her marathon days are over. She had tried to run a
short distance before race day, which gave her a lot of pain. She wanted to run with me the last few miles
of the Marathon, it’s an honor “to run someone in,” and very welcomed and
helpful to the marathoner.
After she saw me crying and wanting to quit, it was reported
to me (by my niece Emily), Patty got upset because she wanted run with me. Well, I wasn’t there, but the discussion
ended up with Emily, deciding to run me in instead.
Patty later said, “it was her idea, she really wanted to do
it.”
At that point with the roads closed it took them over an
hour to get to the hotel so Emily could change and get running shoes on to run
with me.
I made it to mile 22 or 23, I am not sure at this point, but
I went under a bridge and Pittsburgh is really a “steel” town. There was a huge factory on the right side
that went for blocks and blocks and on my left was a big wall – the sun was
coming straight down. It was deserted
and dirty and hot street, and I look up and Emily is running straight at me
with that a big smile on her face.
Emily and Me with my medal
“What are you doing here ?” I was in shock.
“I’m gonna run you in,” she replied.
You can ask Emily, I started to cry again, “don’t start
crying Aunt Stephie, you’ll make me cry,” she said.
I know a few times I would say, “I can’t believe you’re
here,” and start crying again.
She told me the story about Patty and the hotel. Apparently she was dropped off at a certain
point downtown and she just stared making her way back hoping to run into
me. I think at that point she was as
happy to see me on this deserted street, as I was to see her.
We ran and walked the last few miles. She is a natural athlete like her mom, but I
know she hadn’t really worked out since she’s been in college, in the heat, it
wasn’t an easy run, but at my slow pace, she did great.
She also was a great guide, “there’s a place up here with a
strip of shade that everyone is running in,” and pushed me to the left side.
“We will take a right up here and go for a few blocks,” she
described the course for me.
I took the opportunity to ask her about her nursing school
and new friends, plans for the future, planning a trip for her to visit New
York. For me, it was a nice quiet time
with my niece.
We made our way back into downtown Pittsburgh. I knew I was getting close to the finish.
My family was standing there right before the last turn to
the finish line and they yelled so loud when they saw me. I really don’t remember
much at that point, but remember hugging them.
Emily stayed with my family, I wasn’t sure how the marathon
would welcome (or not welcome) a non-numbered runner, so thought it would be
safer for her to be with them. I turned
the corner and came in the last miles to the finish.
I have run two half marathons under my belt, so know what
it’s like to cross a finish line. But
running a marathon is a different beast, it’s a different challenge and at this
point I felt elated.
The last two hundred yards is gated off and people line both
sides cheering. I was so overtaken with
emotion that I was sobbing as I ran.
People were cheering me on and I heard people shouting my name. I kept putting my hand up to my face as I
cried and saw two women pointing at me cheering me on; one of the women waved
and she was crying watching me.
I approached the finish line and raised my arms for my
photo. They have people handing out the
medals and photography stations set up so you can get a “finisher picture” with
your medal.
Finshline Pittsburgh Marathon 2012
People ask how it feels to run across the finish line. Honestly, it feels fantastic. You almost forget the 26.2 miles that you
just ran to get there. But you also are
just so happy that you can stop running.
I called my coach Ryan, I told him about being strong the first
half of the race, then crying, wanting to quit and waited for his response.
Ryan is an intense guy.
He talks with a lot of passion and enthusiasm and he started in,
“Do you know what a DNF is?
DNF is when you “do not finish.”
That is what they put by your name when you don’t cross the
finish line instead of your time, they put DNF by your name.” Ryan said in his
intense excited way.
“Did you DNF? Did you, did you DNF?”
He kept asking me over and over and finally I said a small
“no”
“Did you want to – did you want to quit?’ he asked.
“Yes,”
“But did you finish?” he was getting excited at this point.
“Yes, I got my medal.”
“Did you finish,” he said with more excitement?
“Yes.”
“You’re a rock star !!” he laughed, “listen, it’s even more
impressive when you want to quit but you don’t, I’m proud of you kid AND you
have war stories !”
It’s true; I did feel better finally about my run. If I’m honest, as a runner, I am disappointed
with my time. But also as a women and
runner I am thrilled that I accomplished what I had worked so hard and long
for. I finished.
Before Mom took me to the airport on Monday, she said, “I
hope you feel better about your run, you really did a great job.”
And I said something that is true with all my heart. It and sums up the marathon weekend and
entire fours months of training,
“Oh Mom, it was such a great weekend to be with you, Pam,
Patty and Emily. This is a weekend we will remember and talk about
forever.”
More than that, it took a village. It took nutrition advice, three doctors,
(general, Chiropractic and podiatrist), friends running with me, injuries,
healing injuries, many prayers and a lot of support.
It took YOUR support.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know I was walking/running
those hot streets alone, but I also know you were there.
With all of you behind me, praying, supporting and believing
in me, I could not fail. I have you to
thank for my medal and for my marathon war story.
But knowing what I know,
feeling as bad as I felt,
struggling with the emotions to quit or keep going,
I do know,
I am ready…
to do it all over again.
Stay tuned…
Running 4 miles with Cynthia after work yesterday !!
She's awesome
Thanks for hanging in there with me,
All my best,
Stephanie
